Opaque
by frankiebabe29
Summary: And if I had stayed would that have made it any easier Robin?" she queried, eyes glowing with the darkness of the new moon. "Would your prescious perceptions still be whole? Because I think my mere exsistance was always enough to brake them." RaeRob
1. prolog closer

**A/N;****Hey this is my first ever teen titans fic (which is not to say I haven't read a whole heap) none the less I have been writing Harry Potter fics for a long time and as such am far more used to those characters. I have done a lot of personality research in the series before beginning it none the less because of my unusual style of writing and large deviations from cannon there is no doubt going to be large OOCness and for this I apologise and hope you won't flame me too much. I do promise that everything I write is for a reason in the plot so don't point out inconsistencies to much. (of course most of you have skipped this part completely lol, and are already reading, or if you have read this you are no doubt about to click out and read something by another author with more experience. Can I perhaps ask you to try the first chapter first? **

**Frankie.**

**Some notes before we begin.**

**Parings**RavenRobin and poss StarBB, it will not bear much relevance to the plot but will take a vote to see whether I should perhaps pair Cyborg 

CyBumblebee / CyNo-one

**Set:** After the betrayal and death of Terra but before the beginning of the Raven/Trigon saga. Might make possible references to Haunted and Spellbound, so possible around episode 33? Not really important as I haven't seen them all. I guess what's important to note is that Jinx knows about Raven, possible from Slade but not really important either. She doesn't feature in the actual plot, she's more of a catalyst. 

**Warnings:** Violence and sexual situations (oocness? I already warned you about that)

On with the story.

**Prolo****gue****- Closer**

Picture a city at night. Tall black pillars studded with fireflies of night so that they almost seem to burn….

Closer.

Closer, past the trawling cars and the lit up houses in the peaceful suburbs. Closer, past the apartment blocks down at the pear, all steel and glass. Closer to the very heart, the hub of the night city.

Closer.

Here the city really is burning. Not dangerously, the flames have long since been tamed and now the last of the flammable items are dissolving into the warn out flame. The fire will be out soon. Very soon.

Visible, just visible in the glow of smoke and ash, there are the outlines the presence of people.

They can easily be defined into two recognisable groups. They are well known here. Ask anyone on the street and they would be able to tell you exactly who they are. But the people have long since fled this battlefield and in the dark they appear very similar, all wearing the same sort of expressions, their bodies tensed into the same, tight, taught coils.

All of them are young, a scattering between thirteen and sixteen. All of them are powerful, passionate, exceptional even. But they hold the same perception that all creatures their age do; that they are immortal, invincible as gods. they are perhaps closer to this than others could possible claim, but they are not gods, not even close.

The are mortal, so very mortal and in a few years they will realise that. 

But at the same time as they are naïve, they are wise too and weary with it. They have the knowledge, that devastating crushing knowledge of what people really are. The primitive, volatile horrendous acts they can commit. Some them have commit such acts themselves.

At the centre of the street there is a church, a simple, small, unadorned thing, it is not nearly so grand as the cathedral on the main street. It lies on one side of the road, whole directly between the two facing groups but they do not even seem to be aware of it's presents. None the less it is there, a symbol even to the naked eye, of who and what they are. There are no such thing as coincidences.

To the right is the large group. A boy, a boy, a girl, another boy…. a cloaked figure, barely an outline and who does not intend to become more.

To the right of the chapel. God's right hand. They blaze in an array of colours; Harsh red, burning orange, glowing green, fierce electric blue. 

And soft, purple- mysterious, distant purple. Purple the lightest shade of darkness….

The leader of the left group giggles suddenly and one gets the impression that she is prone to the habit. Left. The God's left hand. The dammed. The leader is a girl, lithe and small, she is pink , bubblegum pink and she giggles madly. It's a cliché and she might just be one, but none the less she is a dangerous one.

Closer.

She makes a scoff, high and brittle in the silent air. A challenge "Really Titans. Is that all you have?"

The boy in red growls, low and menacing. A yell "Titan's Go!"

The energy, the tension releases like a spring and they fly forward a whirlwind of movement- brittle sharp, angular.

Closer.

Focus on the cloaked figure and they pink girl- they wage a war independently of the others and the blows are familiar- they've always been each other's favourite opponents, they challenge one another in a way the others can't. the blows aren't physical in any real sense- their war is almost independent of their bodies. In this world words rather than fists hold the power to knock one off your feet. And it is control- control of the words that fly in arches of glittering colour- that it is important. But it does not really matter how the battle is fought because it is always the identical- Black words against Pink words, Purple against Pink. Always.

Closer.

Because the closer you get the more the world simplifies, because it's not a war of blows and magic and words, but one of emotion and strength of will, strength of mind. Discipline. It becomes more obvious with every expression that they allow to escape them and flicker briefly over their faces. 

The girl in Pink smirks. She's got all new ammunition and this will spark a reaction. It must. When they draw near she lets it drip like poison from her lips.

"You know, I always assumed you picked your name for the way it sounded- I mean what kind of Hero is 'the Herald of Death.' But then I found out- it's your real title- I guess you never really know with some people huh?"

The cloaked figure falters. It barely registers, a slight stumble of the muscles, nothing less. But it's enough for a hit, she gasps and the pink girl smirks in triumph to know she's delivered more than just a physical blow.

"Oh sorry, was I not meant to know about that? Don't you like the truth about yourself Raven? You know that fact that everything you've ever wanted, needed, cared about…Loved, is going to end, going to die, because of you." Her eyes narrow "everyone says villains are evil but most of us aren't a patch in what you are dear Raven."

Closer.

Because it's not even about their expressions, they know each other too well to wait for something to show there and you can see it in the eyes.

Amethyst eyes. Purple eyes, purple the lightest shade of darkness. Like the girl, the purest form of evil.

There. A barest glance. A glance to the right ( Always to the right, he's always on the right of her) to the red boy, to the harsh passion and furry of the red, the of the boy.

It's only a glance. But it's enough. To much.

"Yeah Raven, Him too."

Even as close as we are, it's not close enough to see her change, to she her shift and now she's something else entirely, something that nightmares are made of. The world blurs, trails out of focus, the radio hits static and whirls away.

The purest form perhaps, but in the end evil just the same.

Closer.

When it ends, shifts back, the first thing noticeable is the church. It's gone, mere rubble and wreckage in the street. The pink haired girl and her companions lie somewhere beneath it, lost.

The cloaked figure, Raven or so she has been called, now stands to the left of it- left the side of the dammed. Her friends, or once friends as they now seem to be, are still to the right. Their eyes full of horror and fear and disgust.

Disgust. She's an empathy so as much as it's in their eyes it's in her bones. She can feel it all in her bones.

And closer. Can you see it? We must find the exact moment.

She falters, a small step back, a small cry.

And a murmur, from the boy in the red, the boy the boy the boy. "Raven what have you done!"

They hold the briefest of gazes.

Closer. Can you see it now? Can you see when it all breaks? Can you see when it ends?

The one called Raven turns and runs.

Runs and runs and runs and doesn't know how to stop. Doesn't know where she's going and doesn't care. Just wanting escape. Escape like she never has before- escape the way he looked at her and escape the truth that has always lurked in her shadow.

She runs and out behind her, the purple clack trails like a lick of Amethyst flame. Purple the lightest shade of darkness, like the girl, the purest form of evil.

But no matter how far or fast she runs, the truth always remains the same. Lightest, purest-still darkness. Still evil.

-**fin-**

**Well tell me what you think and whether I should continue, if I do, the way it's written while be slightly more understandable. u . PLEASE REVIEW!**

**two things I should probable say. One –regarding the church thing- I am not religious and this fic dose not and is not meant to have religious messages. It was only a useful metaphor. And for those who don't know, the angel Gabriel is the supposed right hand of god, ad the Angel Lucifer used to be the left hand until he betrayed him and became satin and was thus dammed. It's just basically a useful way of distinguishing who's on the good or bad side. Which is not to say that Raven's turned bad, just that she thinks she has.**

**Secondly as I mentioned in the author's note but I'm guessing no body read, yes Jinx dose know about Raven, but how is unimportant and will never be explained- she probable won't even come into the story again. She's not really part of the plot only a catalyst for the event of Raven leaving the Titans.**

**PLEASE REVIEW! OH HAVE MERCY!**

**Lol (lots of love)**

**Frankie**


	2. chapter 1 between

**A/N: ****Thank you to those who reviewed! Because of your response here's a quick update. (though not as quick as I would have liked bloody computor kept saying the file was empty.) I'm forgoing homework for this. So if more people review, the chapters will be out even quicker. No flames please, I already think I'm bad at these character, you don't need to tell me.**

**As I said in the last chapter, this will be written in a slightly less unusual way. I appreciate the last chapter was hard to understand, and it was written like that mostly for effect. Bare in mind that I am normally a one-shot writer and like to keep my stories ambiguous. Having said that, let us get on with the tale.**

**sorry this is shorter but this was the best place to leave it.**

**Frankie.**

**DISCLAIMER!!****(because I totally forgot last chapter) I do not own any of the teen titans and am receiving no money from this. I'm not that lucky. **

**Chapter One-Between**

Two years passed and Raven never did come back.

Robin did not forget her.

But then (_He pretended_) he did. Once the first few weeks had passed, in their haze of confusion. When it became clear she really wasn't going to……..

He had re-forged the Titans, weakened as they were by her departure. Remade them better, he claimed. Tighter. More effective so they did not need the young sorceress at all. He took down all the pictures with her in them and the others quickly learnt it was best not to speak of her.

(_And then he put all the photos back up in his own private room. He closed off the corridor to her room so that no one else could ever go there and disturb her things or ruin it with their mere presents. He entombed her inside, so that she was pressured in almost perfect accuracy.) _

There was hardly time to think of her anyway. They were not idel superheros and there was always a villain to stop or a plot to foil. As they got older they became more involved in other parts of the community too. Were invited to every elite gathering and party and he and Starfire were the most wanted couple in the city.

And they made a good couple. They matched each other , were mentally and aesthetically par and really who did not understand the many reason for such a romance? Who could possible say they did suit each other? That they did not work?

(_Late at night he lay awake and wondered of her, wherever she was and whatever she'd become. Because Robin had long ago realised that he had never had any idea what Raven was, or had been. When the detective in him tried to stack up even the most basic facts he came back empty. He knew nothing, about where she'd come from except that it was called Azerath or why she had left it, who her family was, why she had come to earth. Why Raven had done anything at all. She remained a mystery that he could never solve, was never even close to solving, regardless of how many hours he lay awake thinking.)_

Two years changed a lot of things, especially when your nearly eighteen. Star for instance, at newly seventeen longer and leaner and more bubbly than ever. But she'd acquired a sense of sophistication and diplomacy. At 6.7was nearly a foot taller than Robin, who by no means short at 5.9, had maintained the light acrobatic form.

Beast Boy was gangling and awaked in his awakening maturity. Still by far the youngest titan at fifteen, he made up for what he lacked in age with height, standing nearly 6.6 and not yet able to cope with the fresh inches. His humour, while still strongly intact had left the days of fart jokes and bad puns and he had gained a sharp and dry wit.

Now with Cyborg, their eldest approaching nineteen it was clear that the teen of their title was fast becoming obsolete, and would soon need to be left behind as well.

(_But Raven of course remained as she always had been in Robin's mind-fourteen with budding breasts and hips, frozen in time in every photo and poised on the edge of womanhood and something else he could never reconcile in his mind. She did not age as they did and it created distortions and vortexes in Robin's, because even now when she'd been gone for years, he still felt like he was losing her.)_

And life settled into a new kind of normality in the tower.

No, Robin _(never)_ forgot Raven.

_(but he pretended)_ he did.

**_-fin-_**

**what did ya think? remembering that this is pretty much Robin's pov and thus was to be slightly less freaky anyway. next chapter is his pov too, but Raven reappears!! and chapter four is Raven's pov.**

**thank you you've been a wonderful audience. Review!!**

**frankie **


	3. Chapter 2 Refract

**A/N: wow I've never updated this quickly/often on anything. I've never gotten this far on anything. Ah well it's a good thing right? **

**Now I know I said Raven would be back this chapter and I promise**** that I fully intended to follow through on that, but unfortunately the chapter just got tooi long and I had to cut it where I did. Many apologies. **

**Once**** more there's battle in a church (what is it with me and the churches? Probable sub-consciously playing on the whole angel/demon thing. Lol)**

**This chapter is ****dedicated to 'Wynn' an author exclusively in the supernatural fandom as far as I know, but none the less who's story 'Tinny A's all in a row' was such a major inspiration for this chapter that it had to be mentioned.**

**A big, big thank you to all the reviewers!! It's defiantly what keeping me writing. You guys here in the Teen Titan fandom are far more encouraging than the meanies in Harry Potter land. I'm seriously considering making it a permanent shift. **

**So far though no one has commented on what I should do with Cyborg****, so unless I get reviews to the contrary I will probably keep him alone **

**I should probably note there's some real violence in this chapter and some serious titan harming (Fatal?) Also there is some swearing. So it's rated strongly for that.**

**And Now…**

**Chapter 2-**** Refract **

When Slade reappeared, the Titan's weren't ready for him.

Robin wasn't ready for him.

He'd always thought they would be. He'd trained them endlessly for just that eventuality. Trained them for it no matter how many times Beast boy had said he was nuts, and Cyborg had called him obsessed, and Star had looked at him with that fear in her naïve alien eyes and said that he was sick and that it needed to end. He'd ignored them all because he knew, _knew _on some gut level, that Slade would be back.

And when that happened they were going to be ready for him. That's what he'd thought all right.

Only they weren't.

The pain was awful and Robin wasn't ready. Hadn't _been_ ready.

--

_It was deep night when the tower alarm went off, and even as groggy as he was n the half-slumber of Raven wondering, Robin was up in moments. One hand reaching for his bow staff, the other for his marks, he took to the corridor._

_Star and Cyborg who slept closest to the landing, were already in the main room when he arrived, Cyborg's hands flying frantically across the keyboard of the Main-frame. Starfire appeared tired and slightly rumpled and beast boy who emerged a few seconds latter looked even worse. He mumbled something incomprehensible and yawned loudly._

_Robin turned to Cyborg "have we got a location yet?" Cyborg flicked a slight glance over his shoulder "Yep- Perp's heading along the main-street, through the square, looks like he's heading for the Cathedral."_

_Robin frowned as he swept over the computer print-offs "The read-out says the signal was given because there was a blow out in those factories on the west end of town. How the hell did he manage to get central city in a matter of minuets?"_

_Cyborg cracked his knuckles. "Don't know, I'm just lining up the TT dish though, so we should have a video feed any sec now."_

_Beast Boy slouched over. "Good, sooner this is over the better, I need my beauty sleep-my complexion doesn't always stay this lovely shade pickle you know."_

_Cyborg shook his head not taking his eyes off the screen. "Boy, you just-" but what exactly beast boy did they never found out, because just then the live feed kicked in and Cy's hands froze on the keyboard and he swore violently ._

"_No way!" Beast Boy exclaimed "It's not- It can't be him! He's dead! Terra-she took him down! Way Down!" _

_But the profile was unmistakable- the sinister, streamlined black and crome body- the smirking face- half ebony, half the foul, orange-red of old blood. _

_The two sides of Slade__- For of course that was who it was- malevolence and slaughter._

_Starfire came up behind Robin, one hand brushing his arm "But how can this be Slade?" she whispered worriedly "Slade, Beast Boy is right, Slade was defeated by friend Terra" she squeezed her fingers gently on his sleeve for an answer "Robin?"_

_But Robin had heard none of this. The sudden impact of the images had knocked the breath out of his body and the world had closed in on him. In his brain the only thing he could hear was an awful pounding and whether this was the beat of his rapid heart or the sound of some deep carnal drum he could not distinguish._

_He shook his head, trying to clear it of the consuming noise and get a grasp of the situation, suddenly aware of how much time they were wasting. And if this was Slade- he could barely even stand to think it- but if this was Slade then every second was precious and necessary._

"_It doesn't matter" he __ground out at last "Whether or not this is the rea- the original Slade, the mere sight of someone who resembles him so much will panic the public. We have to stop him before that happens. Whoever he is."_

_He taped off the computer, shutting off the feed "Let's go"_

_**And if this is Slade**__ he thought ruthlessly, silently, as he headed to the garage and the R-cycle. __**If this is Slade back for more, then this time we'll be ready for him.**_

But they weren't

They weren't

--

He was bleeding and the world was growing fogy, his mind shutting down. And Robin wasn't ready. Never had been

--

_By __the time they had arrived Slade had already been inside the Cathedral, arrogantly slouched against the alter. His eyes were narrowed and sharp and he was softly, mockingly calling in a low voice "Here Birdy,birdy, birdy. Here birdy,birdy,birdy."_

_Robin had stepped out of the darkness, his bow-staff at the ready "I'm already here Slade." out of the corner of his eyes he watched the others assemble into their positions._

_Slade's eyes fell on him and he chuckled quietly. "Ah Robin and the Teen Titans. It's been far too long, I'd almost forgotten you worked Jump City." He stood straighter and stretched lazily "yes indeed" he added "this will make everything so much more poignant"_

_Robin's grip tighten on the staff and he shifted his stance "How are you back Slade." He growled._

_For it could not be denied ay longer. Only the true Slade could make the hair on the back of his neck prickle like that and raise the volume of the beating drums in his head. "Why __**are **__you here?"_

_Sl__ade laughed again and this time the mocking was so obvious it made Robin grind his teeth 'All in good time, little one, don't worry your pretty head about it."_

_That was too much for Robin "Titan's go!" He yelled advancing under urging of the drums. They were ready for this he reasoned. He'd trained them endlessly for just this possibility. They had moves specifically designed for the masked madman, and __**Slade was about to find out that they were no longer children. Slade was about to find out how very grown up they were.**_

_They were ready for this. Robin was ready for this. _

_But something was terrible wrong. Wrong with Slade, with the way he was fighting and what he was fighting with. Moves and powers he had never had before. Powers! Where the hell had Slade gained supernatural powers? It was all wrong! Wrong, wrong, wrong! Robin had not anticipated this. And they were losing! Despite all their work, despite all the endless preparation, they were desperately losing and Slade had hardly even broken a sweet yet._

_And Robin realised they __**weren't**__ ready for Slade, not this new improved version. They weren't even __**close **__to ready._

_But by then of course it was far too late._

--

Cyborg went down first, a well placed fireball (_**FIREBALL FOR GOD SAKE**_!) took out his hard drive, cutting half his wiring. He lay in a mangled heap, his human side semi awake but helpless! Motionless.

Beast Boy went next, his large gorilla form lost somewhere under the pile of marble ripped straight from the cathedral floor. One green arm was visible, fingers splayed over the crumbled rock and unresponsive.

When Starfire was knocked from the air for the last time by the might of six fireballs. landing still smouldering and unconscious amongst the now broken organ pipes, Robin was both distracted and overwhelmed .

Slade took him from behind as he started involuntarily towards his fallen friends, and threw him into the high stone wall. He bashed him over and over against the rock work, while his staff and bird-a-rang lay not four meters away, already broken and completely useless.

He was getting dizzy and his vision was blacking out and getting foggy, and Robin realised that this time he was actually going to die.

There would be no last minuet spectacular moves, or ways out. There was no one left to save him.

And Robin wasn't ready.

Wasn't ready for the darkness that began to eat away at his vision. Wasn't ready for the pain, for the sheer violence of it.

He wasn't ready when Slade threw him to the ground roughly, one hand wrenching his head back. wasn't ready for the mocking words "So ends the great Robin. She'll be so very disappointed; she'd rather built you up her head."

For the first time in his life Robin let out a small grunt, an admission of pain and fear. Because he was helpless, so utterly fucking helpless! and Robin had never really been helpless before, had never experienced this absolute, crushing kind of defeat.

And He couldn't- he couldn't- he couldn't- he……

No when Slade reappeared, Robin wasn't ready for him. He thought he was but he wasn't and now when the end came he found he wasn't ready for that either.

He wasn't and never would be.

And he was bleeding and the world was all white and foggy and his brain was shutting down. He was dying and now everything slowed and simplified, refracted the universe into a single image.

There was girl in his head and she wasn't smiling, but then she never had. Fourteen with budding breasts and hips, posed forever on the edge of….

He knew nothing about her. Almost nothing. But she was all that was left, all that mattered.

And he was sorry, so fucking sorry for what he had said that day, for making her leave….

And he was angry, so _angry _at her for _leaving_! For leavening him with half an obsession in his life and that even after everything, everything he had done in his life, everything he'd done these last two years to escape her, that she was the last thing left. That typically Raven was his last comprehension and the last fucking name on his bloody lips and that it wasn't fair.

And he lov…

Well Christ, why did any of_ that_ matter?

And the world went black.

_**-fin-**_

**Umm.. please don't kill me for the awful cliffy! Votes for if Robin should die or not? Sorry bad taste. Umm, yeah not much to say about that. Review and I'll put you out of your misery quicker.**

**Blow out explosion (some good old New Zealand-where I live- slang that I wasn't sure people would understand.)**

**TT dish- basically I was trying to figure out the ways that the titans get a video feed of villains, so for the purpose of this story ****they have a satellite (Teen Titan's Satellite or the TT dish) to pick up images of villains at work. Hardly going to be relevant. **

**I know that this is not the way Starfire is traditionally shown to speak, but I figure after a couple more years and being older she might have a better grasp of English and human culture/society this will be further shown in coming chapters and Raven will comment on it at some point. Just a head's up for now. **

**That's all I think. REVIEW!**

**Till next ti****me.**


	4. Chapter 3 detonate

**A/N- Please don't kill me for leaving you for five months with an awful cliffy. My life has been insane for this last term. it's been Madness!! **

**Yes this is a short chapter. But it was really hard to write cause it was banter and a battle scene and those are my two weak points. And hey at lest I'm clearing up the whole Robin dying thing right?**

**Meep?**

**Big thank you to all my reviewers, for those last three chaps, but most especially AtlantaGeorgia, RavenRobinGirl, Mio Amore, rowenagrason, and MagykPryncess who consistently reviewed their thoughts and appreciation-you guys are awesome**

**Disclaimer- cause I forgot again last chapter- I do not own the teen titans or any program merchandise or whatever attached to them- I get no money from this I promises.**

**Anyway on with the story.**

**Chapter 3-** **Detonate**

Afterwards Robin was never entirely sure what happen.

A charge flew through his chest. The blackness whipped away. The world exploded into colour again.

The fog still hung across his brain and eyes, as did the pain; but through their confusion Robin discerned that Slade's presences behind him had departed too, speed away by the darkness that had retracted as soon as it hit.

The hands were cool and soft. Small and light. He recognised these hands, Robin though dazedly, knew the feeling of them but had no idea where from.

And he was surprised when he _wasn't_ surprised by the fact that they took the pain away. That wasn't normal he thought, to expected hands to draw death from the skin like a leach. most people's hands could not do that after all, could they?

And then the fog retracted too and he realised what was happening and who was making it happen. Realised exactly who _could_ heal people with a touch.

Well Christ……….

Slade's voice rang out from somewhere to his left

" I was wondering when you'd join us."

The hands were suddenly gone from his chest, and he felt someone step over him.

"And I've been wondering when you'd pluck up the nerve to attack here. Tell me Slade do you really think your _that_ good? Or is this simply the last move of the desperate.?"

Her voice was deeper than he remembered, more melodic. And there was and edge to it that had most definitely had not been there when she was fourteen.

With a great effort Robin managed to roll himself onto his side, giving him a limited view of the action. Raven stood three feet in front of him, her profile hidden by a cloak.

Slade slouched arrogantly against a near-by pillar, one hand extended before his face as if he were checking it's cleanliness but the effect was ruined somewhat by the blood that was still dripping from his finger tips.

Robin's blood.

And despite the fact that it was impossible. That his mask possessed no mouth, no features at all save for the solitary mad eye, Robin could swear that he was grinning.

"You know why I am here. Why _we're_ here."

He straightened, walking slowly towards Raven where she stood resolutely before the fallen Robin.

"It's time" he whispered

She snarled "Like hell it is" and the pillar behind Slade glowed black as it threw itself towards him.

Slade vaulted to the right, a fire ball shooting out towards Raven, which she blocked easily with a shield.

"Must we do this song and dance?" She called out contemptuously "We both know you won't hurt me. Your not _allowed _to, remember?"

The last of the organ collapsed in a black wave and Slade cart wheeled to avoid the falling tubes landing two feet from them. "I don't have to hurt you Raven. Just keep you busy. After all how long do you think your precious Titians will last in their current state?"

Robin saw Raven freeze for moment, then a hand shot forward a black claw reaching forward to grab at Slade.

"I haven't let you kill for two years, what makes you think I'd let you start with them Slade?"

She held for the merest of moments and them her power seemed to fail, wilting back into her.

"Tired from healing your little friend Raven? You've been running and hiding, running and hiding for two years. But it's time you faced up to it. You don't even have the power to catch me, let alone stop_ him_."

He stepped back and stretched his arms above his head "This is it. All your life has been coming to this. Been calling you to this city, this time, this act." His eyes locked onto hers.

"You can't save them." He hissed and fazed out through the floor.

Raven remained where she stood for a moment, her voice trickling out so softly that were there another sound to be heard it would have lost. "I can try."

**TBC**

**Next chapter's from Raven's pov. Hopefully out soon. Maybe……possibly…….**


	5. Chapter 4 home

**A/n; well I felt so bad after making you wait so long and then giving you a tiny chapter**** that I'm giving you a quick update. And….drum roll please…..It's Raven's POV!!**

**So read, review and tell me what you think!**

**Disclaimer- I own nothing.**

**Chapter 4-Home**

Raven didn't want to be here.

So _didn't_ want to be here.

The church was too quiet. The titans were too still and it frightened her despite the fact she could fell the reassurance of each of their life forces around her. Even Robin had fallen back into unconsciousness, but that she could only be thankful for at this point. She was both physically and mentally exhausted from her battle with Slade and her control was weak at best. She would be lucky to manage the magic necessary to dig them out of the ruins and back to the tower. Healing them completely would be impossible. And awkward reunions and accusations were defiantly something that had to wait.

They were…..different.

It was the solitary of an avalanche of thoughts that she allowed into her head. She could feel the weight of them bearing down on her as she dug beast boy out, and removed Star from the shattered organ pipes and gathered the somewhat scattered parts of Cyborg.

In truth it should not have surprised her as much as it did. Raven was well aware of how much time had passed since her departure and knew she herself was almost unrecognisable from the awkward fourteen year old she once been.

But there was something about the sight of stubble across beast boy's chin. The chrome now covering Cyborg, Star's short hair and robin's new uniform that made her ache in some almost forgotten part of herself.

Signs, changes, small as they were, that life had moved on without her.

**RRRRR**

_The first night Raven just ran with no purpose or plan in her head. Just wanting to get as far away from the accusations and the guilt and the lies as possible. _

_She had run directionless, unstopping and for a while she had been no more able to stop running than she had been able to control her passions. Around her the street lamps had burst and flamed like tiny supernovas, showering glass down onto the road like rain._

_Eventually she had simply collapsed in the industrial district on the outskirts of town. It had begun to rain and so she'd crawled into the lee of an old warehouse and it was there that confusion had fled her. _

_She'd ached with the loss of it. With clarity of her situation and understanding of what she'd done. And she'd remembered the looks on their faces, on his face until the wall behind her had begun to tremble and she'd had to force the memories and emotions aside._

_And there had been two choices. Return to the tower and the disgust and horror of her friends. Return and tell them everything, about the prophecy and Trigon and what she was and hoped that they may allow her to stay. That was one future that stretched out before her filled with suspicion and rejection and she knew without even trying that she could not live that way with the other titans. With her closest friends looking at her thus. With him looking at her thus._

_So that had left one option and that was to leave. Except what she was; a danger to those closest to her. An unnecessary presence amongst those shining sources of good with whom she might live but could never truly be. To leave and find some other, distant corner of the Earth where she might live, might do some good before she was forced to do the ultimate act of evil._

_That path was almost as dark and lonely as the idea of staying with the Titans. But the truth was, their rejection was far too frightening for her. She knew not how she would react to such a loss as the loss of their faith in her. And an unknown reaction was not something she could risk when those she cared for most would be the ones closest to her._

_At least that's what she told herself. And next morning bought a ticket on the first bus leaving Jump City._

**RRRR**

She breathed an immense sigh of relief when exited to the sight of the T-car (Seemingly unchanged despite the years for which she was grateful.) She had been dreading the attempt to faze all four of the Titans back to the tower. An act that would have been difficult at the best of times.

Instead with a great effort she manhandled and levitated the group into the car as best she could. Cyborg's massive form in the passenger's side with the other three draped over one another in the back, Beast Boy mercifully having melted back into his original form.

The last load was Robin, her powers were rabidly faltering and as the closest to her own height and weight, he was the only one she'd had any hope of physically moving.

Yet she could not help thinking, when his head lolled against her shoulder, breath hot on her flesh, but blood still warn on her hands griping at his torso that she'd rather have taken her chances with Cyborg.

But at last they were in and she clambered into the driver's seat nervously. That after all was the flaw in this plan. Her driving skills while not non-existent, did leave a lot to be desired. However, having glanced once more at the bruised and bloodied forms around her, Raven reminded herself that it was speed rather than comfort they were attempting here anyway.

**RRRR**

_It had been almost a year and she'd got as far Diamond City before her fifteenth birthday had arrived. She'd tried to hide the day away. Pretend it did not exist, that she did not exist and hoped to escape it that way. _

_It hadn't worked and truly she had not expected it to._

_What had surprised her though. What had knocked the breath from her both physically and metaphorically had been Slade crashing through her apartment wall. The mark of Scarith (?) burning across his forehead and his hands ablaze with the hell fires of her father. _

_That had been the first time she'd fought Slade, leaving bruised and broken and almost as frightened of him as she was of her father._

_Yes that had been the first time, but there had been so many more after that._

**RRRR **

When she'd first got to the Tower she'd panicked, remembering how long it had been and the fact that it was impossible that a fidgety Cyborg and a paranoid Robin would have let the access codes remain the same for so long.

But then she'd remembered; the emergency codes Cyborg had had each of them privately create and then emplaced onto the hard drive. The ones he'd promised not to change no matter what the circumstances. No doubt all the others had forgotten all about them as she had.

Still, she hadn't known what to think when hers were still loaded on the system.

Getting them up to the medical ward had been even more difficult than digging them out of the church. But she'd managed it and set about fixing them up by hand as best she could.

Working solo, she'd often run out of steam and the control to access her magic safely to heal herself and so she'd had to learn how to do it by physical means.

Still there was only so much she could do and it was maddening, bandaging broken limbs, feeling their pain and not being able to fix it as she should.

Finally, when there was nothing left to do but listen to the beeping of the machines, she fled the infirmary.

**RRRR**

_She didn't like to remember Gotham, though that was where __she'd stayed the longest since leaving the Titans._

_That was the point though wasn't it? Gotham had been the first place she'd felt (and oh the irony in that statement) happy since she'd left Jump City. The first place she'd managed to build something that she was proud of, chase after an evil that wasn't her own or Slade's._

_And being with him, had been... almost as good as when she'd been with them. After all there was the family trait so was not really that surprising that at times prowling the rooftops with him in the deep Gotham nights she'd felt like she'd never left Robin at all._

_So it had been, devastating she supposed the word was, when she'd had leave Gotham too, even if this time it was because she was chasing someone rather running from someone. _

_And leaving Gotham had been so similar to when she'd left Jump. Quickly and unexpectedly and leaving someone behind with questions still forming on their lips._

_At least that time she'd had his blessing._

**RRRR**

As she fled the infirmary she tried to think about what was to be done. Robin had seen her when she'd brought him back…..when she'd healed him. So while she could sneak away now before they woke it would only be delaying the inevitable. Slade had made it clear that this was it, the last place she would follow him and she could no more leave Jump and the Titans to the mercy of him than she could avoid her own dark fate.

Whether she liked it or not, she was here to stay which meant she would have to deal with the Titans.

So she decided, it was best to wait for them to wake and to get all the awkwardness and accusations out of the way now rather than on a battle field somewhere, where it might cost a life.

Then, that having been unwillingly decided, her surroundings drew her back into reality drowning her in memories and familarness. She had wondered unwittingly into the living area and while the passage of time was clear when she looked at the titans faces, this place seemed to have been frozen to the last time she'd seen it.

The kitchen was still trashed; dishes piled up and covered in nameless substances; meat or tofu or some unknown thing made by Starfire. There was still the huge Screen at the centre of the room, various games and DVDs strewn out in front of it .

It was……..breathtaking.

And yet there were differences. The itched up her spin and grated on her. New ornaments, a different game box, a fresh set of paint on the walls.

And the photos were all different. Four, not five or six figures and too many with only Robin and Starfire for it to be coincidence. Well that had been coming for years.

And of course all the ones with her in them had been taken down.

But the smell, oh the strange mix of dirt and dust, spandex and metal, that was the same as it had ever been. And so was that beautiful view across the harbour and the way the light fell bright and warm through the huge bay windows.

And Raven didn't want to be here.

So_ didn't _want to be here.

But that, she realised was probably because there was no where she'd ever wanted to be more.

**TBC**

**Next is Robin with a more telling POV on how he feels about Raven being back, he was a bit out of it with blood loss after all. **

**Review and feed me!!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/n; Hey guys just a really small update cause I'm kinda busy- it's my Birthday!! Yay!! But I got some really nice reviews so I thought I'd reward you.**

**Unlease the Shadows****: Lol, what gave it away? :p**

**Z.Brite:**** I think one of the baked apples gave me concussion!! Lol here you go, consider it an appetiser for the next chapter.**

**Krimsontrique****: shifts guiltily yeah, I know, it's one of the things I've been meaning to work on (Along with my spelling, grammar, crappy plot and poor characters….) Hopefully this chapter is a little better and thanks for you review. It's nice to know others like my writing cause I'm really judgemental of it myself.**

**Anyway on with the microscopic chapter- hope you guys like it and keep the reviews coming!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Unless this is parallel dimension number five, then I own Pluto. **

**Chapter five- Whiteout**

Robin woke to whiteness and steady beeping of machines.

The world was disjointed.

He remembered being asleep and then being woken by the alarm.

He remembered the horror of finding out that it was Slade. That Slade was back.

He remembered the church and carnage, remembered the terror of defeat and watching his fellow Titans falling around him.

He remembered Darkness.

He sat up to the sight of the infirmary and the others still unconscious in their beds. Star and Beast Boy bandaged up so much and only small amounts of their flesh could be seen and Cyborg lying with unattached pieces of his arms on either side of him.

And the question begged, if all the Titans were out of it, how had they got back to the tower?

And then he remembered that too.

Raven was back.

He didn't know what to think. He had the feeling that when he stood face to face with her he would, but for now his mind was blank.

Or rather, he was thinking so much that it all became white noise. Indistinguishable.

He wondered where she was now.

He heard moaning to his left and saw that Cyborg was joining him in the realm of the conscious. The large metal man was ineffectively attempting to reach for his face with an unattached arm. He looked blearily over at Robin.

"Jesus Rob, What happened?"

Robin grimaced, unsurprised by the question, yet unsure how to reply. What to tell Cyborg about what had occurred. How much to tell him.

"Slade, amongst other things."

An awful thought had come to him. Because what if he'd never seen Raven at all. After all he'd been so out of it and since his second return to consciousness there had been no sign of the sorceress. Had it simply been a mirage conjured by a fading mind? It would make sense he supposed in a twisted sort of way. The two biggest obsessions in his life battling it out for supremacy in his dilutions.

Yet that did not add up either , because Slade had been real, so very, very real. Had defeated them, nearly killed them. So she too had to have been real otherwise how could they be here?

He wondered vaguely if he wasn't really dead after all.

"Nah" Cyborg interrupted his inner monolog as he awkwardly pulled himself upright with no forearms. "I remember that, him. I mean what happened after I got pummelled? How did we get back? Don't tell me you managed it. You look like your at death's door."

Robin hesitated slightly "I.."

The door opened and Raven walked in, her arms loaded with fresh gaze. "Jesus you'd think Cy would have had the decency to restock once in a while but…." She muttered until her eyes feel on them.

"Oh." She said awkwardly "Your awake."

And Robin knew what he felt about Raven being back.

Rage.

**A/n; well until next time- where an actual conversation between the titans occurs, gasp! Lol**

**Frankie**


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